How to Set The Foundation for a Loving Home

Setting the foundation for a loving home might be one of the most important things you do as a parent. In this post, we discuss some key steps to help you build that foundation and create that loving home. Setting a foundation for a loving home in the early years will help in fostering beautiful relationships with your adult children.

The foundation is the base on which anything is built. If a physical building isn’t built on a strong foundation then it will begin to sink into the ground. It is the same for your “family.” If it is not built on a strong foundation it can struggle to stand up to the difficulties of our current world.

Your Family in the Future

As a mama, a goal we strive for is that of having beautiful relationships with our children as they get older. Let’s entertain a couple of questions. First, if you are a mom of young children, have you thought beyond these younger years into the future? Second, have you thought about what your family looks like when your children become adults?

Trust me when I say, it will be here before you know it. As I live and breathe today, I cannot believe how fast the past 32 years have gone.

This post is designed to get you thinking about those future years with your children. I know it seems hard to fathom but those dreams of a future with your children start right now when they are young.

Whatever current stage you are in with your kiddos, I believe building a strong foundation will have a profound impact on your family, now, and for years to come.

The main purpose of creating Kim Grant Home was to encourage moms through the journey of motherhood. My prayer is that I can come alongside you and help you to make a home where your family feels loved and loves to be, now, and for years to come.

But first, we must have a strong foundation. Let’s dig deeper into what that is.

The Foundation

God

For our family, it began with God first and foremost. I can’t stress the importance of this enough. Doing this in your home will set the tone for everything else.

If families are going to stand the test of time and the trials of this world they must be built on a firm foundation. Therefore, a relationship with God and knowledge of his word are very important places to begin.

The Bible

Look at these verses in Matthew.

The Word of God is full of foundational principles to help us guide our families and foster a foundation for a loving home. We find topics like marriage, obedience, discipline, respect, anxiety, kindness, lying, morality, the tongue, our bodies and I could go on and on.

For you mama, spending time in God’s word is invaluable and life-giving. I will give you a simple illustration. Think of a cup with water. You cannot pour out from an empty cup. So filling up daily allows you to be ready to pour out on your own family.

There is no doubt that spending time reading God’s word, praying, listening to worship music, and meeting with other believers are all ways you can fill up your cup.

There is no better parenting book than the Bible. Teach it to your children. I love these verses in Deuteronomy.

In other words, get to know God’s word and teach it to your children.

Your Marriage

Along with the foundation of a strong personal relationship with God and knowing his word, it is important to build your home on the foundation of a strong marriage. If you are married then building a strong marriage is immeasurable when it comes to building a foundation for a loving home.

You and your husband are a team, a united front, a force, and better together, especially when it comes to parenting. Communicating and getting on the same page as well as making each other a priority and letting your children see that is unbelievably impactful.

When your children see you as a united team this will foster stability and confidence in your children. It will have an enormous impact and will leave a lasting impression and set the tone as you seek to create a warm and loving home.

Get on The Same Page

My husband, Jeff, and I came from completely opposite upbringings and our parents had VERY differing parenting styles. My mom was a single mom with three jobs trying to raise four kids on her own.

Jeff’s mom was a stay-at-home mom and His dad was home every day at 5:30 and dinner was on the table waiting for him. His dad was more of an authoritarian figure in the home and what he said was the way it was. It was a very typical relationship for that time period.

My mom and I co-parented in a lot of ways because of our situation. I was the oldest of four and my mom didn’t have any choice but to work three jobs to provide for her children.

Work Hard

Can you imagine how important it was for us to get on the same page given the different homes we were raised in? My poor husband…I was/still kind of am, extremely independent and a typical firstborn.

Jeff and I had to work hard to get on the same page with our parenting philosophy but we both had a strong desire to be good parents and so we made the effort. It was our quest to grow and refine our parenting knowledge and to come up with our own plan.

The ultimate end goal was that our children would love God, our family, and others. We strove for and sought every resource out there to be the best that we could be TOGETHER.

Mark 3:25 says the following:

FACTS!! This is a short and simple verse but full of great truth. As parents, it’s important as much as you can to be united and agree on a plan together for raising your family.

So to start, come together as a couple and formulate a plan for your family. Find common ground and build off of that. If you haven’t done this already it’s okay! Start today. It’s never too late to make changes. Even if it begins with just a conversation. Start now!

Be Intentional

We didn’t hear the term intentional parenting when our children were young but as I look back essentially that is what we were doing. Being intentional is so very important (Stay tuned for my Intentional Mama course coming soon!). If you never set a goal then it is hard to achieve one. So why not set some goals for your family?

Do Your Research

There are many things we did to grow our parenting skills. We took parenting classes, we read books, and we met with couples we respected who had gone before us. And in today’s world, you can add podcasts, blogs, webinars, and even Instagram and TikTok.

As a note of caution, just because someone says they are an expert does not mean they are. Anyone on social media can declare themselves an expert these days. Verify that they can back it up with experience, wisdom, and examples.

Think critically when evaluating parenting advice. Ask the following questions. Does it make sense to you? Do you understand the reasoning behind what they are saying? Does it align with your beliefs and your biblical worldview?

Jeff and I sought parenting resources we respected. We took bits and pieces of what we read and used what worked for us. In other words, take the meat and leave the bones? I have compiled a list of respected Christian parenting resources to get you started.

Christian Parenting Resources

Famous At Home: 7 Decisions to Putting Your Family Center Stage

Buy it HERE. This first resource is a book that I love for parenting and marriage. It is called Famous At Home: 7 Decisions to Putting Your Family Center Stage by Dr. Josh and Christi Staub. This book is a wealth of wisdom and we have very similar thinking on marriage and parenting. You can also listen to it on audible but the resources in this book are worth purchasing it. You will highlight, underline and go back to time and again.

Taking Cara Babies

https://takingcarababies.com/

Parenting starts young and sleep training is so important. I love the philosophy and methods of Taking Cara Babies. This wasn’t around when my kids were young but I discovered it on Instagram, liked what I saw, and purchased the program for my two boys and their wives when they had babies.

Taking Cara Babies has some great wisdom to help you sleep-train your babies while getting them on a schedule. So for grandmas looking to give a very practical but possibly life-altering gift, this is something to consider.

Make a Plan

So where do you begin? I’ve composed three questions for you to consider as you begin your intentional parenting journey.

Three Questions to get you started

What do you want your family to look like now?
What kind of person do you want your child to be?
What does your family look like in 20 years?

For Jeff and I, the answer to the first question was to have a close-knit family who loved God, loved each other, and were respectful. We required them to respect us and each other. Arguments occurred but they knew how to say I’m sorry and I forgive you. It was important to us that they would be there for each other no matter what. Family is forever.

As for question number two, what kind of people did we want our children to turn out to be? Again, we wanted them to love God, family, and others. They would be respectful, kind, honest, and serve others. We wanted them to be hard workers who brought joy to those around them and who contributed to society.

Your answers may be different than ours and that’s okay but talk about it together and come up with your own objectives and goals for your family.

The bulk of what I share comes from 32 years of experience. We were intentional, did our research, and made a plan. We continually re-evaluated our plan. If we saw success, we continued and if not, we went back to the drawing board. Some things worked and some didn’t.

My prayer is that our experience will help you as you strive to reach your parenting goals. We didn’t do it perfectly but we learned from our mistakes and my prayer is that you can learn from our mistakes too.

From Winging it to Killing it

When it comes to parenting, do you ever feel like you are winging it, and sometimes you are lost as to what to do? I certainly have. Haven’t we all felt like that at times? It is inevitable.

We are faced with so many unexpected circumstances and situations in our Mom life, especially in today’s world. Add to that a plethora of personalities amongst your children and no wonder it is hard.

Not every situation is the same even if it sounds like it is. Each child and situation needs to be evaluated individually. What works for one may not work for another. And where a severe punishment may be implemented for one child, a milder one may suffice for another. Stay tuned for more specific posts on parenting topics such as discipline, consequences, respect, etc.

You can absolutely go from winging it to killing it. Starting with a strong foundation is key!

You’ve Got This!

Parenting IS hard work, however, every bit of hard work is absolutely worth it when your hard work starts to pay off. I believe in you and that you are up for the task. Sometimes it is a struggle at first to start but then as you implement some simple practices you may see your load lighten a bit.

Come up with a game plan together. Do the work. Make time for this. Plan a date night with your hubby and talk about your plans for parenting.

Never Stop Growing as a Parent

I want to challenge you to do the work of continually learning and growing as a parent. Don’t get discouraged if it seems overwhelming to implement new things into your family. Try one thing at a time and see what happens. Don’t give up. Keep working and trying. Keep fighting for your family! You can do it, mama!

In Summary

Getting on the same page and building a strong foundation together can absolutely help you achieve the loving home you desire. It will begin the path to a peace-filled home where love lives, now, and for years to come.

This picture depicts very clearly the relationship of our original four kiddos. It is by God’s grace and it is so sweet to see. It was A LOT of hard work, sacrifice, tears, discipline, laughter, joy, fun, wrestling, bickering, celebrating, congratulating, successes, failures, and more descriptive words than you can imagine. This picture right here makes every minute we put into parenting worth it.

The featured image on this post is a picture of Jeff and me with our three grandchildren. It has given us immeasurable joy to watch our children become parents. It all started with a strong foundation. God, the Bible, a strong marriage, a plan, and a lot of hard work was where it all began.

This is why I am here. This is what Kim Grant Home is all about. Our families are the foundation of our future. I want to encourage you to start right now wherever you are in the journey of parenting.

I believe in you, mama! You’ve got this. You can do it! You are capable of more than you think and, boy, will it be worth it!

Much Love~Kim 💗

LINKED BLOG POSTS:

How to Set The Foundation for a Loving Home

Your Family in the Future

The Foundation