How To Create A Realistic And Effective To-Do List (Specifically for Moms)
If this title grabbed your attention then you are one of two types of individuals. Number one, you are a to-do list person and you want to master your to-do list method. Number two, you have been winging it on a daily basis and you are desperate for help and a to-do list is what you need. In both cases, I am here for you! How to create a realistic and effective to-do list on a daily basis can be a valuable tool on your journey of motherhood and home.
Why A To-Do List
What is it about a to-do list that is so enticing? A to-do list can help you gather your thoughts, motivate you to get things done, and help you to accomplish more in your day!
A GOOD to-do list, as opposed to a bad one, can keep you from getting distracted, wasting your day, and feeling overwhelmed. However, there is a caveat and there is a proverbial elephant in the room.
Most of us can’t help but make our to-do list WAY TOO LONG. If you are anything like me, your list is too long for any one human to accomplish in a given day🤪. So buckle up because this post is all about how to create a to-do list that is realistic and attainable.
All The Things
Let’s first talk about the pressure of getting to “all the things” throughout your day. Moms carry a lot on their plate and it can be overwhelming. In fact, sometimes it can be so overwhelming that nothing gets done.
The pressure of all that needs to be done weighs you down and in a way can paralyze you. I liken it to an anchor holding you down and you can’t move. Have you ever been in such a deep sleep and in your dream, no matter how hard you try, you can’t move? I feel like I have that dream all the time. The feeling of overwhelm can do this to you.
I know these feelings well because I’ve been there. Moms have a mountain of tasks to do every day. You have people to care for and a home to maintain. Not only are you taking care of others, but it is important to take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself and fill up your own cup it can be difficult to take care of your family. We must fill up to pour out.
No More Winging It
As I’ve met with many moms over the years it occurs to me that winging it on a daily basis is common. Have you ever gotten to the end of a day and felt like you had wasted the entire day? I know I have. You had no plan, no list, and no purpose but to survive. And if you are in that place right now, I see you, and I promise you will get through it! Please, don’t stop reading. This will help!
You can live a life where you don’t feel like you are winging it and surviving every day. Life can be different and you can feel effective and accomplished on most days.
A To-Do List Will Give You Purpose
You can wake up each day with a plan and a routine (blog post coming soon on routines) and begin your day with purpose. I have no doubt that this will calm your heart, help you focus more, and help you to be more intentional in your everyday tasks.
Let’s talk about intentionality. Being an intentional mama is key to surviving and thriving on your journey of motherhood. God has gifted you these precious humans to care for. Regardless of the age of your children, moving through your day and your life with purpose can be life-changing for all of you.
As a mom, you are responsible for your child’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. That is a lot of needs! And, if you have multiple children, wow, that is a really a LOT of needs.
Dream & Plan
I want to challenge you right now to take some time to think about and dream about all you want your children to be when they become adults. Define who that is and what that looks like.
Now that you have done that, it’s time to put a plan in place. Think seriously about the following question: How do I get there? You want your future adult child to be a kind person who loves God and respects others. You want them to be a hard worker. You want others to enjoy their company. You want them to have healthy lifestyles and habits. And the list goes on and on.
With those thoughts in mind, it becomes easier to prioritize your day as you are mindful of these goals for your children. This is just one example of something to consider as you create your daily to-do lists.
Be Realistic As You Make Your To-Do List
How can you remain realistic as you consider your daily to-do list? God has been doing work in me in this area. When I wake up every morning my mind immediately starts running with all I want to do and I can’t stop it. Honestly, I am thankful for this because it means I have a purpose every day and that is a good thing!
But it can be overwhelming. I have found that putting my thoughts to paper actually helps to calm my mind a bit. This is NOT my to-do list. This is my dump list.
Where To Start
What do we start our to-do list with? First, we need to talk about the things that will be on your list every single day.
Make Your Bed Every Day
First, I highly recommend that you make your bed every day. This will provide you with a feeling of accomplishment as you begin a new day. It takes less than one minute and yet a lot of mornings we don’t do it.
It may seem silly and redundant but put this task on your daily to-do list (at least until you establish a habit of doing it). There is a well-known book called Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…And Maybe the World by William H. McRaven. He is an Admiral and this quote is on the back of his book.
“If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another”
Yes, yes, and yes! Making your bed may seem like a small thing and unimportant in the grand scheme of life. But hear me out because this simple task can have a tremendous impact on your day.
How can this impact your day? Making your bed can boost your self-confidence to start your day. It can change your attitude and set the mood and tone for your home and family.
Doing this one simple task can impact your life and the life of your children more than you know. And I don’t know about you, but I love climbing into a made bed at the end of the day!
Time With God
I also highly recommend adding to your to-do list daily time with God. How you do this is between you and God, but I will say this, don’t do it out of guilt. Don’t put a time frame on it unless that helps you as your order your day. Just do it. Do what works for you.
This time with God could include listening to worship songs for 10 minutes, praying, reading a chapter in the Bible, meditating on verses, or doing a daily devotional. The important thing is that it comes from a heart of wanting to be still and sit with God to help you center your day. Go ahead, and add it to your to-do list.
Do A Load Of Laundry Every Day
Yes, you read that correctly. Do a load of laundry every day. I found it very helpful to make this part of my daily to-do list. I know some of you like to do it all in one day. But I am going to ask you to give this a try. It lessens the overwhelm of laundry and it takes 10-15 minutes out of your day.
Trust me when I say I didn’t do laundry every single day of my child-rearing years but I did most days. This may actually alleviate the piles of laundry in your bedroom.
Doing all your laundry in one day can be overwhelming and the laundry piles end up in your bedroom, all over your floor, slowly but surely becoming unfolded if you did, in fact, take time to fold them. This may just alleviate that mountain of clothes in your room 😘
By doing one load a day you can easily keep up with the tasks of washing, drying, folding, and putting away. And if your kids are old enough have them put away their own clothes.
Remember our goals of wanting children who are hard workers. We can accomplish this in two ways. One, show them what a hard worker is, and two, require them to work hard.
More Daily Tasks
Consider adding simple daily tasks like unloading the dishwasher, doing the dishes in the sink, watering the garden, clearing the drop zone in your kitchen, reading a book for 15 minutes, and any other tasks required of you on a daily basis.
You can even add make your coffee to your list. I mean that is a fun one to add and an easy one to cross off.
Weekly Tasks
There are days of the week when I have specific tasks I add for that day. For example, on Monday I bake sourdough bread. This is automatically added to my Monday to-do list.
On Tuesday I wash the sheets as well as meet with the women I mentor. I have certain days that I exercise and so that is added to my to-do list for that day. You get the point!
Add From Your Dump List
So you have your to-do list started with the daily things you do every day. Now, take a minute and consider your day. First, look at your dump list. Remember the dump list from above? Eliminate anything on there that doesn’t need to be done that day and start building a realistic and effective list.
Eat That Frog
This is where I recommend you “Eat That Frog” first. Have you heard that saying before? In other words, do that thing on the to-do list that is hanging over your head. You know, the one you have been ignoring for way too long. GET ‘ER DONE.
It is amazing how free that will make you feel. You will feel accomplished and ready to move on to other things on your to-do list.
I can definitely procrastinate on tasks that I think are too hard to do or I just don’t want to do. Most of the time, it ends up being easy and I wish I would have just done it sooner. But no, I avoid it like the plague and let it hang over me like a dark cloud consuming my mind. Anyone else relate?
Ugghhh, I hate that feeling. Don’t you? So Eat That Frog. If you want to learn more about the concept of Eat That Frog check out the book Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
Eliminate Anything That Can Wait
Next, add anything else you have to do. Be sure to ask yourself the question, can I possibly get by without doing this today? If the answer is yes then eliminate it from your list for that day. If the answer is no, then it remains!
Add Intentional Time With Your Kiddos
Make sure you add something to the list that includes intentional time/fun with your kids. For task-oriented mamas, sometimes it is easy to forget this if you don’t schedule it into your day.
It could include doing a puzzle, playing a game, reading a book together, going on a walk, or even a fun trip to Starbucks or Dunkin. You can find more about intentionality in parenting in my post How to Awaken Your Child’s Senses At Home.
Wishful Thinking
Now it’s time to add one or two tasks to your list that are “wishful thinking”. If you can get to it then great. If you can’t then no biggie! Let it go (singing the theme from frozen right now) 😜
Easy peasy, right? You got this. Mama, you now have a realistic and effective to-do list for the day. Do your best to cross off those tasks.
Cross It Off
Let’s talk about physically crossing off tasks on your to-do list. I have to tell you that crossing off your to-do list will bring you a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. You have just won the day!
Speaking of which, I highly recommend the book Win The Day By Mark Batterson. It is a great book! You can read a summary of it on my Kim Reads Page.
There will be times when you inadvertently add a task to your day that is not on your list. When this occurs, go ahead and add it to your list. And then, do you know what I do? I CROSS IT OFF. (Yes, that means after I already did it…lol)
Crossing off your list feels so good! But also at the end of every day, it is helpful to look back and remind yourself of all that you accomplished. This can help you eliminate those negative thoughts that you didn’t get enough done. If you struggle with negative thoughts I highly recommend How to Eliminate Negative Thoughts & Find Joy Every Day.
Feeling good about yourself affects the tone of your home. And yes, I would recommend crossing off even the littlest of tasks like making your bed. I mean you did it, right? So cross it off. After you have developed the habit then go ahead and take it off that list if you want to 😘.
Give Grace
But what if you don’t cross off everything on your list? First of all, give yourself grace!!! If you notice that at the end of every day, you aren’t completing your list, then guess what? I think your list might be too long. Giving yourself grace frees you from the guilt of not getting your list done.
God is so full of grace for us. Find some for yourself, especially on a day when nothing goes as you planned. After all, as a mom, some days are just unpredictable and we must be flexible and ready to pivot at a moment’s notice.
Evaluate and Adjust
This is a good time to evaluate whether or not your list was realistic and effective. You may need to adjust your list until you are comfortable and proficient at creating a good to-do list.
Setting goals can have a huge impact on your life and help you accomplish your goals. Your goal as a mom is to raise your children to be the adults you dreamed about above. You can find more about this in my post How to Set The Foundation for a Loving Home.
Making a realistic and effective to-do list daily will definitely help you reach those goals.
The Virtuous Woman
I used to get a little overwhelmed when I read about the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31. She can do it all, right? That is until I read the following by Lysa Tyrkerst. She argues that these words of wisdom… are not “meant to tell a woman she is supposed to be more. They are a celebration of who she is.” I love this train of thought and these verses no longer become overwhelming and unattainable.
God celebrates us and all that we are. If you read proverbs 31: 10-31 you will find a plethora of things a noble wife of character does. These are only representations of all we do. You currently do many of these things and God is well pleased with you. Be encouraged mama! The last five verses are beautiful.
Read that last verse again, charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. It’s important to note here that fear is not translated as scared, but better said, fear of the judgments of the Lord as well as honor and respect for who He is, his power, and his majesty.
The tasks of the day may seem minuscule but we glean from the Proverbs 31 woman that God does not consider what you do small in any way, shape, or form. He has great respect for what a Godly wife (mom) does. The to-do list you create each day will help you accomplish those tasks realistically and effectively.
My prayer is that you can take this method of forming your list and use it daily to help you to accomplish your goals for the day and your goals for your family’s future.
And remember, make that bed every day and “Eat That Frog” whenever possible.
Much Love~Kim 💗
LINKED BLOG POSTS
How to Set The Foundation for a Loving Home
